


The Real Housewives of Avengerville

by NyxEtoile, OlivesAwl



Series: Tales From the Tower [13]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Avengers, Drinking, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, girl talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 10:10:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4742447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyxEtoile/pseuds/NyxEtoile, https://archiveofourown.org/users/OlivesAwl/pseuds/OlivesAwl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <img/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>Nat came home from a meeting in DC to find a pontoon boat floating off the end of the lake dock. She'd asked Wanda about it, since their house faced the dock, and she'd replied, "Ask your husband."</p>
<p>"It's fun!" he told her. "Take the girls out on it!"</p>
<p>"I don't think I have enough Pabst Blue Ribbon and Skoal to go around."</p>
<p>He folded his arms over his chest. "Stark wouldn't let me get a speedboat."</p>
<p>She sent a group text that night. <i>So my husband has offered us his boat for a girl's day on the lake. Weather's been nice, how about next Saturday? I'll bring the beer in a can, you guys figure out snacks?</i></p>
<p>Pepper was the first to reply. <i>Wow. He really has gone native, hasn't he?</i></p>
<p><i>I'm in. Get beer in a bottle.</i>That was Maria.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Real Housewives of Avengerville

**Author's Note:**

> Short little wives fic to finish out the summer (it's Labor Day weekend in America, the "official" end of summer.) We're not ENTIRELY sure what's coming up the pipeline next. Make sure your author notifications are up and follow me on Tumblr for updates.

Nat felt that if a person housed an inner redneck, mentioning that to one's spouse before exchanging vows might be a good idea. 

Her husband, as it turned out, did. Expose the man to grass and trees, and suddenly he was out building sheds and keeping chickens and wearing flannel. But Nat did like the fresh eggs, and she was surprised by just how much she enjoyed her gardens.

Then she'd come home from a meeting in DC—there were a lot of meetings since they'd come under government oversight again—to find a pontoon boat floating off the end of the lake dock. She'd asked Wanda about it, since their house faced the dock, and she'd replied, "Ask your husband."

"It's fun!" he told her. "Take the girls out on it!"

"I don't think I have enough Pabst Blue Ribbon and Skoal to go around."

He folded his arms over his chest. "Stark wouldn't let me get a speedboat."

The fact he'd tried made her feel a little better. "It would be very loud." She kissed his cheek. "Maybe I will see if they want to have a girl's day on the water."

"Doc and I took it out to go fishing yesterday morning."

So that was where last night's trout had come from. Much like the eggs, it had tasted far better than anything she'd ever had from a store. "She knows how to drive it, then?"

"Yes. Though it's really not hard, you'll do fine."

She sent a group text that night. _So my husband has offered us his boat for a girl's day on the lake. Weather's been nice, how about next Saturday? I'll bring the beer in a can, you guys figure out snacks?_

Pepper was the first to reply. _Wow. He really has gone native, hasn't he?_

_I'm in. Get beer in a bottle._ That was Maria.

_Glass on boats. Bad idea._ That was Darcy, who Nat could easily believe had a story behind that. _Get a keg and some red Solo cups._ Yes, Darcy had done this before.

The rest of the ladies chimed in affirmative and promised to bring food. Sharon added, _I will bring lemonade._

Sharon and Steve had announced her pregnancy a over a month ago, though Nat was pretty sure most of them had figured it out beforehand due to the sheer amount of glee Steve had been giving off. The baby was due around their anniversary and so far Sharon had displayed none of the morning sickness that had plagued Pepper, the mood swings Amanda had dealt with, or any other early pregnancy symptoms. The other mothers in the group were not hiding their jealousy at all.

Saturday she dressed in her favorite bikini, loaded up her garden wagon with the keg she'd gotten in town the day before, two sleeves of Solo cups and a couple bags of ice, as well as a stack of towels and sunscreen. She said goodbye to Clint, dodged his wandering hands—which were developing new and exciting calluses—and headed over to the dock, dragging the wagon behind her.

The others were arriving as she did, in bathing suits and toting towels and containers of snacks. Steve had come down to carry Sharon's stuff. Some of other men—the Dads, mostly—were in the center yard, letting the kids play and grilling meat. "Pietro said he'd run us out some chicken before we launch," Wanda called. "If anyone wants lunch."

"I brought cheese and crackers," Violet offered, helping Darcy load a cooler onto the boat.

"Some chicken probably wouldn't go amiss," Nat said, parking her wagon. "There's a lot of beer to be drunk."

"Did anyone pack pork rinds?" Maria asked. "This seems like a pork rind kind of thing."

"Clint isn't even here to hear you tease him."

"I brought pork rinds," Amanda said, and the others looked at her. "It's like no one listens when I say I'm from North Carolina."

Nat tossed her a bundle of towels. "You and Clint are just going to _feed_ off each other."

"I give myself a month before I start replying to idiotic statements with 'well, bless your heart.'"

"Bless your heart is a very functional statement," Sharon said. "I'm from Virginia, that's sort of the south." As far as Nat knew, Sharon grew up in a well-off DC suburb, which was probably about as southern as Connecticut.

Amanda seemed to agree because she just looked at the younger woman a moment and deadpanned, "Well, bless your heart."

Sharon threw a bottle of sunscreen at her, then held out a hand for help getting on the boat. Steve picked her up and carried her onto it, over the sound of her protests. She ordered him to go lift things for the rest of them. He lifted the keg like it weighed nothing. Quickly they got all of their stuff aboard. 

Pietro arrived with a tupperware full of grilled chicken, which Wanda took. Then they untied the boat and Amanda steered them out towards the center of the lake. Nat watched the dock and houses grown smaller, until the dock was nothing but a speck and the houses looked like dollhouses lined up on a green carpet. There, Amanda slowed them to idle and they tossed the anchor over.

Half of the boat had a canopy, and half didn't so the women could have sun or shade as they saw fit. The keg and cooler were set up in the shade, and red solo cups were being filled.

"I have admit," Wanda said. "I mocked it, but this is nice."

Nat stretched out in the sun, tipping her head back. "My husband has good ideas. On occasion."

"It reminds me of summer vacations I took as a kid," Violet said, opening food containers and setting up lunch.

"They involved lakes?" Pepper asked.

"Yeah. We went to resort places in the Adirondacks. Like in Dirty Dancing? Lake, horses, games." She pulled a drumstick out of the tupperware. "I was not seduced by a muscular dance instructor, though."

"Violet," Maria asked seriously. "Are you a Stepford Wife?"

She seemed to consider this a moment. "I was. . . once. Now I'm one of you people."

"Your neighborhood's kinda Stepfordy now," she replied.

"Do we need to start throwing garden parties?" Sharon asked.

"Nat has a lovely garden," Amanda commented.

Nat sipped her beer. "I really wanted a bed that was all poisonous plants. Then Clint reminded me: pets, children." She reached over and snagged a couple pork rinds. "Violet's going to have bees, though. That's pretty hard core."

"You are not teaching my bees to kill. They will be nice bees."

"Cal's mother is allergic to bees," Darcy said, dangling one arm over the edge. "We should get some for our yard."

"Do you need mother-in-law repellant?" Amanda asked. "I'm sure we can cook up some good ones."

"She's. . . It's okay. Mostly. I like that they can't just show up. But they're nagging the hell out of him about grandbabies. I'm like, Jesus, woman, let us be married for a little while."

"Doesn't his sister have kids?" Nat didn't actually _need_ to know that. But a lifetime of retaining potentially useful background information was hard to quit.

"She does. But they aren't Bennetts, you see. It is my job to continue on the family line."

"I am so glad I don't have in-laws," Amanda said and Nat leaned over to tap her cup to hers.

"Me too," Sharon said. "Though my family is plenty."

"Also, you're making grandbabies," Jane said.

"Allegedly," Pepper muttered.

Sharon sighed deeply and sipped her lemonade. "He's driving me crazy, if that helps. One of us is not going to survive the next five months."

"I empathize," Pepper said. "Though as long as it doesn't inspire him to build a robot that tries to destroy the world, you'll probably come out ahead." 

"The other day he tried to convince me I shouldn't walk up and down the stairs but should, instead, let him carry me."

Pepper winced. "What did you do?"

"I kicked him in the shin and went on a five mile jog just to prove a point."

"Wait, what?" Violet asked.

"You ran five miles?" Jane asked.

"Admit it, you're not really pregnant," Pepper said. "This is all a ruse."

Amanda reached over and patted Pepper's shoulder. "She's a decade younger than us. Don't judge her too harshly."

Sharon blinked. "Amanda said I could stick to my usual workout routine as long as I felt up for it."

"Maybe I _should_ start making babies now," Darcy muttered into her beer.

"Well, I did stick to my normal routine of doing nothing," Pepper said. "Even that was a near thing."

"I was 29 with Ada," Violet said. "I was sick enough it probably would have sounded like a great idea if Hal volunteered to carry me up and down the stairs. You may be a bit of a pregnancy unicorn, there. You're wearing a bikini."

Sharon laughed. "It's all I have. I am showing a bit, I think."

Nat peered at the other woman's stomach and decided that yes, possibly, there might be the beginning of a bump. The rest of them made Sharon stand up and turn sideways. Since she was wearing a bikini you could definitely see it from that angle—but really only if you knew what you were looking for.

"Have you thought of names?" Wanda asked quietly. She was tucked in a seat in the shaded part of the boat, observing the rest of them.

"If it's a girl it'll be Sarah, for his mother."

Something flickered on Wanda's face, subtle enough most of them missed it. Nat didn't. Neither, apparently, did Sharon. She sat up a little. "Can you tell?"

"I'm not sure," she said carefully. "I am. . . aware of its presence. But it's very small still."

She put her hand over her lower abdomen and looked down. "Wow."

Amanda had thoughtful doctor face on. "You're at almost fifteen weeks. . . yeah, brain's developed into sections and is sending impulses to the muscles. Fetuses start to react to light around then, so I suppose it would have some sense of awareness."

"Do you want me to tell you if I find out?" Wanda asked Sharon.

"Yes, absolutely. We had an ultrasound at 12 weeks but they couldn't tell yet. But we want to know. Steve likes planning things."

"I will tell you if I hear anything."

“How can you tell if it’s a girl or boy?” Nat asked. “Do they. . . notice their parts?”

“Boys sometimes do, much later in the pregnancy.” Wanda tilted her head. “It’s hard to explain. Male and female brains have a slightly different frequency, I guess you could call it. They feel different to me from even before birth.”

“That is fascinating,” Sharon said with a grin. “Steve will be so excited.”

Wanda cleared her throat. “I should add that I can only tell you the gender of the brain. The body doesn’t match 100% of the time.”

“Seems like knowing that would be even more important, in that case,” Darcy said.

"Worst case, even I can tell sex by a 20 week ultrasound," Amanda offered.

Sharon looked at Pepper. "I know you knew early, I was hoping we would."  
 "Oh, well, that was because we had the embryos tested. I was going to wait longer, but Tony wore me down."

"Tony also likes to plan." Nat said.

"I loved finding out." Violet stretched her legs out and tilted her face into the sun. "Loved buying the clothes and researching names."

"Did you miss it this time?" Pepper asked.

"Not really. Pregnancy is not exactly my favorite part of motherhood. The man I love walking up and handing me a healthy baby that's all ours was very nice."

"You rallied admirably," Darcy said. 

"If I could grow them in a pod in Tony's lab, I would," Pepper said.

"Have you considered a surrogate?" Nat asked. "You're rich enough."

"Demand outstrips supply. I would not want to take a spot from someone who genuinely can't carry a baby just because we're rich and famous." She picked at the edge of her shorts. "Though it might get on the table anyway eventually. We've been trying again without much success."

There were several expressions of sympathy. Violet reached over to touch Pepper’s foot.

"You still have several good embryos left," Amanda offered.

"No, I know. We had a lot to start with. So many Tony was trying to give them away." She gestured at Violet.

"It was very thoughtful," she said. "And we'd consider it if Tony wasn't. . . Tony."

Darcy went to the keg for a refill. "Tony is trying to give Violet your embryos?"

"We had a lot of extras. Or thought we did at the time, anyway. Ruby was the first try. We knocked around giving some to Violet and Bruce, after we had our second and were done. People donate them to strangers, why not friends? But I realized pretty quickly he would see the resulting children as his. And be weird about it."

"I have other kids," Violet added, stacking cheese and crackers together. "Who would absolutely notice that Unca Tony spoils their younger sibling way more than he does them. Though we are now considering buying some sperm when Asima is a little older."

"Do you just. . . order that on the internet?" Wanda asked. She sounded half fascinated, half disturbed.

"Pretty much," Jane said. "They have whole catalogs, you can choose just about any traits and features you want." She shrugged. "I looked into it at one point. Human and Asgardian DNA aren't compatible," she added for Wanda, who was perhaps not quite up on the sagas of those whose heads she'd never gotten into.

"There literally are catalogs," Violet confirmed. "I could essentially find someone who had similar traits to Bruce. Height, coloring, ethnic background. Intelligence. And people would probably coo over how much it looked like him."

"I don't know," Darcy said, popping a pork rind in her mouth. "I've seen your kids. Your genes appear to be pretty strong."

"Well. . . Hal was blonde, too." She hooked a thumb at Sharon. "This one's will all be blonde haired, blue eyed cherubs."

"They could be brown eyed," she offered. "Nothing I can do about the blond and cherubic."

"Sometimes in the catalogs they claim to look look similar to someone famous," Jane said. "Muscular blond ones loved to be either Steve or Thor."

"Thor won," Darcy said. "I counted."

"I bet you could sell Steve's sperm for a lot of money," Sharon mused.

"If Steve is jerking off in a cup I get dibs." They all turned to stare at Amanda. She held up a finger. "That came out wrong. I have a theory about the serum increasing sperm count and motility but when I asked James he gave me 'you're being a mad scientist' look and took Panzer for a run."

There was a pause, then Darcy said, “Couldn’t you just, you know, spit?”

Jane shook her head and Wanda turned beet red but Amanda answered like a doctor. “Enzymes in your saliva break it down on contact. It’s not viable for any sort of accurate testing.”

“Huh.” Darcy sipped her beer. “I did not know that.”

"It’s a fascinating theory, though,” Sharon said. “I might buy into it. Everybody told me to expect it to take six months."

"Hey," Amanda said. "I didn't tell you that. I had an accident at 38." She winced and made a face, looking over at Pepper. "Sorry."

"No, don't. We're all on a spectrum. There are plenty of women who would hate me for having fifteen frozen embryos because they can't make three. Nat doesn't even have a uterus. It's pointless to get all weird and comparative with each other." 

Nat reached over and touched her shoulder. "If I had a uterus, I would totally rent it to you and Stark for a reasonable price."

That made Pepper smile. "I think it would be best I not tell Tony that." She drained her lemonade. "I'm about ready to be done, you know? We have Ruby. I'm tired of the shots and the medication. The whole thing. I have a company to run, and I’m not doing it as well as I should because of all of this."

"There is no shame in being an only child," Darcy piped up. "I got all the attention, all the toys. Didn't have to share a room or wear hand-me-downs."

"No one to try and kill you and take your throne," Jane added, making Pepper laugh. "Hey, my husband can win pretty much any contest about family drama."

"You people laugh," Maria said, "But families like the Starks are sort of the equivalent of America aristocracy. That's the kind of inheritance fight that makes international news."

"I'm an only child," Pepper said. "I didn't mind it that much. Tony did mind. And he feels _very_ strongly about siblings."

"Tony can learn to live with disappointment," Amanda said, reaching over to refill Pepper's glass. 

"I'm sorry," Wanda said quietly. "But she would not really be an only child, would she? Ruby has many siblings. Just because it is not biological. . ." She shrugged. "Clint is as good an older brother as Pietro."

That made Nat smile. Clint would almost certainly return the sentiment.

"Biological relations aren't as important as you think," Jane said. She looked up at Darcy, who had opened her mouth. "No, not the village thing again. But there are things you need. Relationships that fit certain niches. And they don't have to be filled by blood." She looked over at Violet. "A little girl sprinting down the hall with her arms out for me makes the daughter I'll never have hurt less. Shape a life. Braid some hair." She shrugged.

Violet reached over and gave her a one-armed hug. "I might have the blendedest of blended families. If we do go the sperm donor route it will be even worse. Four kids with three different biological dads and two moms. And not one of them sharing blood with Bruce. And it won't make him, or the big green thing in his head love them any less."

"One of the reasons Pietro and I have stayed is that you gave us the family we had lost," Wanda added. "And a far larger one than we ever expected."

"I'm sorry," Darcy said. "I need to pause the moment we're having—Four kids with three dads is like the trailer parkiest thing ever, I don't think we can't call Violet a Stepford Wife anymore. And we lived in a trailer park for a bit when I was a kid, so I can say that." 

Violet laughed. "If it happens I will be sure to make my mother put it in the Christmas letter."

"Oh, she's one of _those_ ," Maria groaned.

"Yes. Yes, she is. She also just got a fluffy yip-yap dog that she's spoiling rotten. And my father is slowly taking over all the spare rooms with his model train layout."

"I want to give it one more try," Pepper said. "Then I may be done."

"It's hard to close the door," Jane said. "But you feel better once you do. One way or the other."

Darcy poked Jane with her foot. "Didn't know you'd decided for good."

"Yes, well." She sighed. "The more I thought about it, the more it's probably a blessing. The differences in our lifespans would just make it. . . too hard. On Thor, on the children. They'll age and die and he'll still look 25. And he's the only heir to his throne. When Odin dies, he'll go back. I know him. I don't want him to feel stuck here. After I'm gone, I want him to find a second wife and go on with his life, you know? Otherwise I'd fear he'd stay as long as his descendants were alive."

Violet shifted so she could rub her back a little. "You are welcome to borrow my little genius kids whenever you want," she told her, making Jane smile. "But I think it's good you can look at it objectively that way. If it helps, I think you're right."

"We really do have unique marital considerations, don't we?" Amanda said.

"I believe that is why we are all on this boat right now," Sharon said.

"Hey, Cal's normal," Darcy said. "I'm here for the food."

"You have larger than life careers," Maria said. "Also, he was buried under a building for two days, that's not an everyday experience."

"He is very happy to have more 'Rubble People' around," Wanda commented.

"Also, you've helped avert, like, two and a half apocalypses," Jane told her. "You're not normal."

Wanda reached over and poured herself a cup from the keg. Nat couldn't remember if she'd ever seen her drink before, even something as mild as beer. "I wish I could be with someone normal," she said softly, and Nat understood the desire for alcohol. "But I don't think it is likely."

"You are a superhero," Pepper said. "You will probably need someone extraordinary. But we are all mostly normal. None of us have any special powers. You just need to find another one of us, in the gender of your preference."

Wanda smiled at that. "I feel like the men who would be okay with a girlfriend that can literally read their mind is a small pool."

"Clint would probably love it if I could read his mind. Never have to talk again."

She tilted her head. "Strong silent type. I suppose I can work with that."

"In the end it's just about trust," Violet said. "I know this isn't true for all of you—" She glanced at Nat. "But I've never dated a man who wasn't physically capable of hurting me. Killing me, even. Bruce could pin me so I can't move and he hasn't seen the inside of a gym in decades. I have to trust they won't, or I'd never have any relationships at all. He'll have to trust you to respect boundaries, too."

"My powers are a little more unique than physical strength differences. And I don't always have control over them." Nat knew her telekinesis could explode outwards when she was upset enough.

"Thor could snap me in half," Jane said. "Literally. And completely unintentionally, too. I find him worth the risk."

Wanda nodded thoughtfully, looking out at the lake, She flicked her fingers and the water rippled, as if someone had skipped a rock across the surface. "It would be an adjustment in any case," she said finally. "For so long it was just me and Pietro. I'm used to him in my head. I mind my manners around the rest of you. But a boyfriend —a husband—I can't keep walls up all the time. I would need to make room for him in my head as much as he would need to get used to me." She smiled and sipped her beer. "Complicated, as Amanda said."

"Relationships always are, aren't they? Nat asked.

"Hence I avoid them entirely," Maria said, with just enough smugness Nat felt the need to comment.

"That depends on how you define 'relationship' doesn't it?"

She glared daggers back. "That doesn't count."

Too late. They had everyone's attention. Pepper straightened, leaned around Violet, _and_ lifted the brim of her hat to get a better view. Pepper had the skin to go with her hair, getting her to move the hat was a feat. "Are you seeing someone?"

" _No_."

"Maria has a special friend," Nat said in her best gossiping teenager voice.

Everyone's heads whipped to look at Maria, like it was a tennis match. "With benefits?" Darcy asked.

"Romanov you are so dead."

"It's Barton now and I have a whole lake and minor forest to hide in. Try me."

"So that's a yes, then?" Darcy said. 

"Of course it it," Pepper said. "She's the most un-coy person on the planet. This is fascinating."

"How do you know about it?" Violet asked Nat.

"He dropped her off at the Tower one morning in the spring while we were all coming and going. I got his license plate and first name. It was plenty to go on."

Maria was covering her face. "Of course you checked him out."

Nat blinked innocently. "I'm your friend, I need to watch out for you."

"I knew I should have brought something stronger," Maria muttered, glaring into her beer.

"Does he make you happy?" Jane asked.

"It's not about-" She broke off, looking at all of them and sighed. "Yes. He's intelligent and funny and doesn't ask pressing questions about my job, feelings, future or where I see us going. We get dinner, go to a show or museum occasionally and fuck." She paused and added. "He likes hiking. Now that you know about him I might bring him up here."

"We'll try and resist the urge to line up at the gates and wave," Sharon said.

"I'm sure Clint and James will be happy to sit on their porches 'cleaning' their rifles," Amanda added.

Nat shook her head. "I never got that. If you're cleaning it, it's dismantled and no longer a threat."

"No self respecting over protective redneck father has only _one_ gun," Amanda assured her.

"You're cleaning it so it will be in optimal condition to shoot later in the evening," Sharon said. "Should they give you cause to do so."

That got impressed face from Amanda. "Maybe you are from the South."

"Anyone feel like swimming?" Maria asked. "Because I feel like swimming."

Nat had been looking forward to swimming for the last week. Without a word, she stood and walked to the end on the boat, took two quick steps and dove into the water.

It was colder than comfortable, but not as bad as it could be. By the end of the summer it would probably be very pleasant. She swam down as far as she could, till her ears clogged and her lungs burned, but while the water was clear enough she could see the bottom she couldn't reach it. Muffled sounds above her told her some of the others had joined her and she recognized Wanda, Maria, Darcy and Violet's suits as she surfaced.

"There you are," Darcy said. "We were about to make someone swim down after you."

"I'd be impressed if any of you could."

"I could," Sharon called from the boat.

Nat splashed at her. "I was trying to reach the bottom. I can't. This is a good lake for body hiding."

"No hiding bodies in the lake!" Pepper called, still under the shade on the boat.

"Jane," Darcy called. "Stop being a pansy and get in here."

She was standing on the edge of the boat, arms crossed, looking skeptical. "Is it cold?"

"It's a lake fed by snow melt," Darcy replied. "Not a hot tub. None of us have turned blue. Get in."

Jane looked skeptical another moment, then gave a little squeak and jumped in, feet first, slicing through the water like a blade.

"Shit," she shrieked when she surfaced. "That is _really_ cold."

"It's invigorating," Violet told her, floating on her back.

"You're wusses," Nat said. "I could tell you stories about cold."

"You're Russian, of course you can," Maria said, treading water somewhere behind Nat. "Sharon, was Ops still doing the Swim Test when you went through the Academy?"

She shuddered. "Oh, yes."

Nat hadn't gone to Academy and hadn't done a lot of the tests they had. Though she was told she was the inadvertent designer of some of them. "How did you do?"

"I finished it," the other woman said flatly. "It was sufficient."

"What's the Swim Test?" Darcy asked.

"They drop you fully clothed into the ocean in a random location about a mile out and time how long it takes you to get back."

Darcy craned her neck to look back at Sharon. "What happened to you?"

"I got stung by a jelly fish on the way in. My left leg stung like fire and I couldn't really kick in a coordinated way. I had the second slowest time of my group."

"You really are a magnet for injury aren't you?" Maria commented. 

"Shut up."

"I love that someone was still slower than you," Nat said. Not that she was surprised. If she'd been operating under the kind of legacy Sharon was, she'd make sure she wasn't last if she had to drown a competitor to do it.

She didn't think Sharon would drown someone, though.

They swam for a while. Nat tried to reach the bottom a couple more times. Darcy joined her once, but had to give up halfway down. When everyone was tired and the sun was stretching towards the far tree line they hauled themselves back into the boat and wrapped themselves in towels.

Violet dug out the last of the snack food and started munching, passing it around to the other swimmers. "Time to head back?" she asked. "Or more drinking and clucking?"

"We have to go back if we're out of food," Sharon said, sounding faintly alarmed that they might, in fact, be out of food.

"You are growing Steve's kid, aren't you?" Amanda said, handing her a half full bag of goldfish crackers.

"I have no idea what normal is, but I am so hungry," Sharon said around a mouthful of goldfish. "The other day at dinner I finished my plate and started eating off Steve's. That has literally never happened."

"I was out-eating Tony when I was nursing," Pepper said. "But I don't think I ever out-ate Steve."

Violet piped up. "When I was pregnant with Ada I attempted to make blondies and ended up eating all the butterscotch chips before I could finish the batter."

"My mother told me when she was was pregnant with Pietro and I her stomach was so large the last month she couldn't actually sit down." Wanda had wrapped her hair up in a towel and looked like a very strange fortune teller. "And for one month wanted nothing to eat but sausage and _poticn_."

"What's poticn?" Amanda asked.

"A kind of pastry. Honey, nuts and egg whites rolled up in dough and baked." She tilted her head, considering. "Something like a cinnamon roll or sticky bun had a baby with baklava."

"That sounds delicious can you make it?" Sharon asked on one long rush.

Wanda laughed. "I can try."

"I feel like I should turn the boat around before she starts eating the seats," Amanda said.

"Probably a good idea," Nat agreed. Amanda gunned the engine and slowly turned them back towards the dock.

They ended up on Wanda's back deck facing the water. Stark showed up with Ruby not long after they settled in. She'd had enough playground. Nat listened with half an ear as they had that conversation all parents seemed to when transferring babies, about whether pooping did or did not occur. Apparently it had. They boys had made Steve change it.

Pietro came out and started ferrying their things to their various porches. Then Steve came, obviously concerned Sharon could not walk the fifty yards to her house all on her own. Nat really hoped she got to witness it when Sharon pummeled him with his own shield.

She left the rest of them to their reunions, waving goodbye as she hiked across the lawn to her house. Clint was up in his turret, as she expected. She could hear him coming down the ladder as she let herself inside.

He met her on the stairs and she stretched up to kiss him. "Honey, I'm home."

He touched her damp hair. "How was the lake?"

"Deep. And cold, apparently, if you're not from Russia. We had a good time."

"Me too. Barnes and I convinced Pietro to try shaving with a straight razor."

She laughed. "And how did that go?"

"We didn't need to call Doc."

"Glad to hear it." She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, lifting a foot to dangle off him. "Tony and Pepper are trying for a second kid and it's not working out well, Steve is driving Sharon crazy, Wanda is lonely, and Violet and Bruce might have a fourth kid eventually." Clint didn't actually care about gossip, but he did like to know what was going on with the others. So she filtered and condensed it into essentials for him.

"I liked the wives club meetings more when you talked mostly about sex and came home horny."

"Sorry. We had serious discussions today. I can still muster up some horny for you, if you want."

He grinned. "I appreciate your difficult sacrifice."

"All part of my wifely duties."

He hitched her up a little more, so she could wrap her legs around his waist. "I will make it worth your while."

"You usually do," she murmured, leaning in to kiss him.


End file.
